Love, Light, and Black Holes: Navigating Grief

Love, Light, and Black Holes: Navigating Grief

The only way out is through 

 

2020 has been the year that we were all challenged, forced inward (literally and figuratively), and pushed past edges we didn’t previously know existed. All this inner work is going to pay off in a big way, but before we get to the pot of gold at the end of the poop-colored rainbow that is 2020, we’ve got to accept this experience and integrate all we’ve learned thus far.

This is shadow work.

Whether you lost your job, lost a loved one, lost your sense of self, lost some of your sanity, or lost your light, it’s ok to grieve. November is the beginning of the holidays, but that looks much different this year than it ever has before.

 

Love, Light, and Black Holes

Grief may be taking over, and that’s ok. I say this all the time, but we can’t only be love and light. We can’t always be blooming. The darkness, the contraction, is just as important as the light experienced in the expansion. This is how I came up with LOVE, LIGHT, AND BLACK HOLES. We need them all. We need the duality. We need to feel the depths of grief to know the heights of joy.

You are so loved, so supported, and so guided every step of the way. If there’s ever a time where you look around for help and don’t see anyone there, fear not. It’s easy to feel isolated in difficult emotions and experiences. 

We think that no one can understand the pain we’re in. We’re afraid that if we share the darkness we’re enveloped in that we’ll be met with bullshit phrases like “this is for the best” or “they’re in a better place now” or “it’s going to get better, you just have to get through it” or “this will make you stronger”. And while these phrases may carry truth on some level, they are the opposite of helpful when you’re hurting. And that can cause even more pain. 

What you need when you’re immersed in grief, lost in pain, and afraid of the dark, is to feel seen. To feel validated in your emotions, not encouraged to suck it up and wash them away. Emotions aren’t pretty. But no one is trying to win a beauty contest this year. Please, I’ve been in pjs since March and recently purchased a matching sweat suit. This is 2020. This is reality. Don’t try to wash away the pain.

Sit in it. Feel it. See it. Invite it to your table. Make your pain feel seen so you can see through the darkness.

 

There is no shortcut to healing grief or the shadow

You have to bring your darkness into the light. Bringing light to the dark is an impossible new age myth. Bring your darkness into the light and you’ll watch it dissolve and integrate into your light. The sky must be dark before you can see the stars. 

Being authentic is what is going to get you through the darkest days. Being real about how you feel and not talking yourself out of the emotion is where the gold is. Don’t fake it till you make it. That’s an impossible task and some serious bypassing. You are the captain of your ship. You are in control. You have the power of choice to decide if you’re going to let the wave take you further out to sea or straight into shore, to safety. Ride the wave of uncertainty and invite your pain to the surface.

When we are afraid of something lurking in the dark it can easily take on a bigger, scarier form than it has in reality. We create story after story about how awful, painful, traumatic it is that it morphs into something much larger than how it began.

Be real with yourself and with your pain. This is real-life magic that is available to everyone.

 

Authenticity is the new black

It turns out that being your authentic self is the point. It is enlightenment. It is the Truth. We’ve been encouraged to conform, to stay in line, to do what’s been deem to be “right” without our input. But that’s changing now. You’re waking up to you power, to your authenticity, to your uniqueness. There is no one like you in the universe, and THAT is your superpower. 

Don’t seek this externally. Anything you seek to give you power that is outside of yourself is an immediate loss of power. Externalization of power, validation, approval, acceptance, love, etc is going to rob you of your personal power. 

Be your own guru. Wake up to the fact that all the answers actually are inside you. And being your true, unique self is the only way to be in harmony with your soul—which is the point of all spiritual paths.

You’ll never escape duality in life—of feeling both light and dark simultaneously. It’s the law of the universe. However, when you come from a place of oneness, of completeness, you are turning on your laser focus, and that is where the true power lies. You can traverse the plane between light and dark knowing that you have the power to hold space for both.

Be easy on yourself as you navigate your inner world. Trust your soul as your compass. Open your heart to your pain and grief and trauma. Know that you are never alone. You are so loved. You are so capable.

 

If you want to explore your inner world in a safe and supportive environment, I’m here for you! Book an EFT Tapping session with me to begin to bring your darkness to light.

How NOT to Manifest

How NOT to Manifest

In the spiritual community, manifestation is talked about in a lot of different ways. Manifestation is easily one of the most sought after lessons, and the most talked about by practitioners and leaders. However, this also means that a lot of people go unchecked with what they’re sharing, and that opens the door to fluffery, Law of Attraction nonsense, and incomplete processes that leave people feeling frustrated and disconnected from their Soul Magic.

I don’t believe that there’s one way to do anything. And I definitely don’t believe my way is right. But what I am passionate about is empowering you with information that resonates so that you can step into your full-ass power and feel like the magical being that you are.

With so much information out there from so many sources, let’s talk about what manifestation is NOT.

In my view and experience, the common phrases “raise your vibration to match what you want to manifest” and “I am a money magnet” for example, make no damn sense. How do I know what frequency I’m at, and how do I know what I want is vibrating at? And if I say that affirmation in the mirror or write it in my journal, then I am just all of a sudden a money magnet? Ugh. No. Just no. Manifestation is so much less “woowoo” and so much more practical than that. That’s how NOT to manifest.

 

How to Manifest

Here’s my process for manifestation that ALWAYS works when I’m in alignment. Spoiler alert, it all starts with shame:
    1.  Do any necessary shadow work around what you want. Shame is the shadow is desire. So when you want something, there’s and equal and opposite force that lives in the realm of shame. Identify and acknowledge the shame behind what you want. Even if you aren’t aware that you’re ashamed of what you want, it’s living in your subconscious. And if I’ve learned anything about manifestation over the years, it’s that the subconscious is the engine of it all. Even just the shame around NOT having what you want is something to move towards. Go towards your darkness and you’ll find gold.
    2. Be authentic and in integrity with what you want to manifest. Get clear on your “why” and come from a place of truth and authenticity. Example: “I want to manifest the love of my life because I am whole and complete within myself and I am ready to rise with someone who sees me for my worth and my magic” See, you’re not manifesting love to be completed or “saved” – rather you’re manifesting love because you’re ready to rise with someone and you’ve already fallen in love with your self. When you’re authentic and in integrity, your manifestation will be coming from a whole and complete place, free of fear and lack.
    3. Surrender your desire and release attachment to receiving. This part is tricky because we desperately want to hold onto desires. We make vision boards, have fake checks hanging on the wall, and carry around rose quartz to find love. But it’s in the release and the trust that the magic has space to breathe and come to life. Tend to your needs and take care of yourself while you remain patient and faithful.
Take care of your needs first, always, and the rest of life will flow. When you’re whole and complete and cared for by you, then there’s space and energy to receive and be open. When you’re tired, misaligned, needy, and not honoring your needs for self-care and self-love, your vessel isn’t able to receive.

 

And if something doesn’t make sense to you, or you cant grasp the concept, look for someone who explains it in a different way. Manifestation is not exclusive to a special few. It’s available to everyone. Spirituality is, at the root, authenticity. And when you’re authentic first and foremost, then everything else will flow from there.

 

For a deeper understanding of my process of manifestation, and why I feel phrases like “raise your vibration to match what you want to manifest” are so harmful, watch this video!